Saturday, July 19, 2008

Don Francisco Caramel Creme Coffee

What can I say, I'm a sucker for artificially flavored coffee that goes on sale regularly every 2 weeks.

The caramel has an effin great aroma. It reminds me of when I used to work at a candy bar factory...in the caramel department. There was a hot young thing that was over in nougat. He was an A-hole, but he was hot and young.

I tend to make it a little strong because it is on the lighter end of the flavor scale, in my opinion.

I wouldn't kick it out of bed. And I would go further and say that I wouldn't mind a variety pack of the flavors as a gift, because, hazelnut and vanilla nut are also quite the "bomb" as the kids say today. fo'shizzle. (I've been to one of them hip lingo dictionary web sites, can you effin tell?)


As far as I can tell, this is a completely different Don Francisco than the Christian Contemporary artist of the early 80's.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

McDonald's Iced Vanilla Coffee

Okay, it's McDonald's.

It's Vanilla Iced Coffee.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this stuff probably won't be on the world's best cup of coffee list anytime soon. Especially since it's a syrup/dairy mixture they have to squirt and mix together to make it happen.

But they sure know how to make yummy food.

My wife loves the sugar-free.

Our friend who is a long time Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee fan (as are we) came out from the east coast this last week though and couldn't wrap her head around it.

"How do they know how much cream or sugar to put in the cup? What is sugar-free...is it equal, splenda what?"

I replied, "It's not coffee...it's a McBeverage that tastes like coffee...you don't ask what is in the diet coke or how much syrup they add..."

Got it? It's good...it's just not really coffee.

Dunkin Donuts Vanilla Coffee

Effing A...now Dunkin' Donuts...that's a good cup of coffee.

Unfortunately the ol' lady threw out the bag before I had a chance to take a picture of it, but here it is on their website (http://www.dunkinathome.com).

Yeah, I have to admit when I lived in Boston for awhile I got spoiled with Dunks whenever I wanted. Now that I'm west coast again, we either have to order it by mail (which, even with the month club, the shipping is more than I'm willing to regularly pay for a pound of coffee), or enjoy it whenever a friend or family member comes to visit. (Usually the ONLY thing that's good about visitors if you effing ask me...but you didn't, did you mothereffer.)

IT DOES MAKE A WONDERFUL GIFT FOR YOUR FAVORITE BLOGGER.

It's just a great blend of medium-dark coffee with a definite vanilla flavor. None of that, "smells good, tastes like ess" like some I've had.

Yup. Dunkin' Donuts Coffee...it's the best.

Side note, now, McDonald's has gone and done a really delicious vanilla iced coffee which is strikingly similar to the Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee you can get at their east coast locations. However, it's not really vanilla coffee...they don't sell it by the pound and it wouldn't matter if they did, because I've seen them make it and I wish I hadn't. Let's just say, the vanilla isn't in the grind, because there is no grind.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

OG Coffee Freak Thong

I like the way these look on the ladies.

If you send me your photo modeling them I will post your pic here.


I'm not kidding.



Saturday, July 5, 2008

Moka Java by Trader Joe's



Moka Java is an Aribica Bean, or so it says on the effing label as you can see in this photo. How I'm supposed to know what that means, I didn't effing know until I looked it up.

wikipedia.org had this to say about it:
"Coffea arabica (pronounced /əˈræbɪkə/) is a species of coffee indigenous to Ethiopia and Yemen. It is also known as the "coffee shrub of Arabia", "mountain coffee" or "arabica coffee". Coffea arabica is believed to be the first species of coffee to be cultivated, being grown in southwest Arabia for well over 1,000 years. It is considered to produce better coffee than the other major commercially grown coffee species, Coffea canephora (robusta). Arabica are white, 10-15 mm in diameter and grow in axillary clusters. The contains less caffeine than any other commercially cultivated species of coffee. Wild plants grow to between 9 and 12 m tall, and have an open branching system; the leaves are opposite, simple elliptic-ovate to oblong, 6-12 cm long and 4-8 cm broad, glossy dark green. The flowersfruit is a drupe (though commonly called a "berry") 10-15 mm in diameter, maturing bright red to purple and typically contain two seeds (the coffee 'bean')."

So THAT kinda effing explains why it just didn't do it for me. It was a weak ass coffee that smelled really good. I do have to say though, my ol' lady liked it when she ground it up real fine and brewed it a little heavy in our Mr. Coffee flat-bottom drip. And it made an effing refreshing iced coffee too.

All in all I give it a three-and-an-effing-half cups out of a possible 5.

Half of all proceeds go to Goodwill (UPDATED)

So, I effin like the Goodwill. They always take my ess and seem to have some nice stuff in their stores.

They feed a lot of hungry people. And they do a lot more around the world.

I currently have a "profit" of $2 on every item sold in my effing store. Cafepress.com/ogcoffeefreak If you like one of my coffee-flavored designs, you can know that $1 will be going to a good cause, the Goodwill.

The other $1 will go to more coffee filters...and maybe some effing toilet paper.

http://www.goodwill.org

UPDATE: I have decided to change the charity to AHCKids.org

Friday, July 4, 2008

FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions


QUESTIONS ABOUT THE LOGO
Q. Your logo looks kinda like a coffee bean.
A. Thank you.

Q. Why does your logo look like kinda like a football?
A. Thank you.

Q. Why does the logo look like part of the female anatomy?
A. Effing thank you.

Q. Can I use your logo as a tattoo?
A. Not on my effing body.

Q. Can I use your logo as a sticker?
A. A sticker? I can sell you an effing sticker. But yeah go ahead.

Q. What makes you an expert on coffee?
A. I do.

I EFFING LOVE COFFEE MERCHANDISE

OG Coffee Freak - I Effing Love Coffee


I'm the OG Coffee Freak.
"What's the OG for?" you ask?

Original Gangsta? No

Organic Grind? No

Old Grampa (Yes, that's right, I'm a dirty old man. I'm 72 but I'll be 69 forever.)

I EFFING LOVE COFFEE

But don't go off about how to roast or what the effing acidity is. I don't effing care.

I just love the ess ("S_ _ _") with every ounce of my being.

I like drip sometimes. I like french press sometimes. I like espresso, mocha, lattes sometimes. It depends on 1 thing and one thing only.
1. Is it good effing coffee?

If you do something, do it well. That applies to everything in life. Coffee included. And if I find a coffee (and I have) that makes me ask "why was this ever even sold?" I'll let you know.

I'll be posting my effing reviews of all kinds of coffee brands here. Comment if you want. I don't effing care.